Making Decision....

Life is about making decision..every step of the way..anything you do, from food that you eat, from clothes that you wear, to whom you got married, to where you work..to anything and everything...semuanya bergantung kepada your decision..yes Qada dah Qadar telah termaktub sejak dari Lauh Mahfuz, tapi for each junction, God has given you your own will to make that choice...then segalanya will take its own course once you have make that choice...it's like in a matrix where each choice lead to a certain event and stories....

I am certainly the most helpless person when it comes to making decision...dari kecik sampai la ni...memang kalau boleh nak elak sangat, tapi you just has to choose and make a stand...itu yang den lomah tu...my mom has always given me a great strength and support during these times although she did not know the subject, but her restu and prayers helped me a lot..the usual advice given, buatlah solat istikharah setelah berusaha sebaik mungkin mencari dan meneroka maklumat utk membuat keputusan...tu lah azimat yang ku pegang sejak dari bangku sekolah lagi...tapi yeah..it is easier said than done...

For me, making decision is never easy..I had problem from selecting the type of course that I want to do in the university level, I had problem in choosing what type of job I want to do, when I accepted the proposal from my beloved hubby pun I had tough time to decide to say yes..maybe my head is filled with "what if? " questions..

Hmmm, needless to say that am a person without my own opinion...because everytime I set to do something, it always turn up to be different...or I end up doing something that I've always wanted to avoid...it's more of making the best out of every item that pass in front of you or forced upon you...that is more like it!! Tuhan itu Maha Kaya dan Maha Mengetahui setiap zarah di muka bumi ni..and I strongly believe if it did not happen as what you have planned, there is always a reason/hikmah as Dia yang Maha mengatur segalanya..

This is basically reflection from past experience in my life..during Uni time a group of us has always dreamt of doing Food Tech and flew to UK because six of us just loved Biology subject..berangan nak pergi belajar ala2 Cinta Dua Benua..but crash in 97 had crushed that dream to pieces..and I end up doing Chem Eng in a local private Uni (which at that time is out of nowhere) and having to learn the most hated subjects there... hikmahnya, Allah itu Maha Pengasih..Dia telah mengatur kehidupan yang lebih baik selepas itu..and now although aku tidak dapat terbang sendiri waktu belajar, I end up flying with syle masa berkerja..Subhanallah, "mana satu nikmat Tuhan yang hendak kamu dustakan"..Ar-Rahman..

When I did transferred to EP environment in 2004, that was never planned..I mean going offshore and having to work in the most extreme environment..hahaha, tak pernah dijangkakan tapi byk pengalaman yang dapat ku timba.. am still surviving till now

So now, it comes to making another decision to move forward..and this time, it is not only affecting me, it affects the whole family including our kids..so, Ya Allah, permudahkanlah diriku dan keluargaku dlm membuat keputusan ini..kerana sesungguhNya Engkau yang Maha Mengetahui Segalanya...Hambamu ini tidak mengetahui dan sgt kerdil di sisiMu...Engkaulah yang mengatur segalanya...Engkaulah yang Maha Berkuasa..

Decision apa tu? Hmm...in the meantime, let's just keep it to myself...when things are quite firm up, will be putting another entry..